


You Could Have Just Asked

by CuteBucket



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Ashe and Ingrid start a book club, Byleth can sing, Comedy, Demisexuality, F/M, Felix Hugo Fraldarius Being Awkward, First Dates, My Unit | Byleth Has Emotions, Perfect Tea Time, Post-Time Skip, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Sparring, Spoilers for FE7 of all things, Swordfighting, Sylvain being Sylvain, Wrestling, wholesome content, with a light drizzle of feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21639487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuteBucket/pseuds/CuteBucket
Summary: Felix has never been one for romance. He saw it as a waste of time. But now that he’s in love for the first time, Felix has absolutely no idea how to go about admitting his attraction, let alone actually doing couple things, or even worse, ADULT things, with a woman. And the absolute LAST person he’s willing to ask for help on the matter is his old friend Sylvain. Sylvain MUST NOT find out. He would never hear the end of it. He will have to find the answers on his own, because he will not ask Sylvain for advice. Absolutely not. In his attempts to gather his own data, Felix runs into the many other denizens of Garreg Mach, who are either far too enthusiastic to help him in the art of romance, or get a totally wrong idea of what he’s up to.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/My Unit | Byleth, Sylvain Jose Gautier & Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 10
Kudos: 105





	1. Care To Spar With Me?

**Author's Note:**

> To everyone who romanced our favorite grumpy cactus boy and wanted even more shenanigans with Felix, this is for you. I'm planning on roping in lots of characters that Felix doesn't get supports with, because thinking about how he would handle being stuck in social situations with all of these people brings me joy.
> 
> *This story takes place during the Azure Moon route, but assumes that all possible characters have been recruited.

Pegasus Moon (February), 1186

  
  
For the first time in years, Felix felt as though he could relax, even just a little bit. Though never one to relax fully, it felt nice to be back at Garreg Mach. After driving away looting thieves and then having to turn right back around and drive off the Imperial army, there wasn’t much time to think about anything else. But now, for a brief moment, there was time for everyone to catch their breath, start cleaning the place up, and reacclimate themselves to their old home away from home.  
  
The first place Felix had checked on after returning the previous month was the training hall. It had fortunately been spared from any damage and looting, and only needed a basic amount of sweeping and rearranging to get looking just like it once had. He had already seen the professor come, train, and go on a few different occasions, but he had refrained from asking her to spar with him. The timing didn’t feel right. She had been missing and presumed captured or dead for five years, after all, and her story of falling off a cliff only to wake up five years later was even stranger. Beating her right after she returned from such a state would not have been a satisfying victory. But after seeing her in battle again against the invading Imperial army trying to take the monastery at the end of the last moon, it was clear to Felix that she was back in her form. Once things had settled back down a bit, he could finally ask her.  
  
He had never managed to best Glenn. He had to up and die before Felix could get a single win in on him. For five years, he had been bitter that history had seemingly repeated itself again, with Byleth dying before he could win a match against her. He did his best to try and forget about her and the promise he made. There was no use dwelling on it. She was gone.  
  
Except that she wasn’t gone. She was right there, standing in the training hall, exactly the same as she had always been. It was surreal. Her clothes, her hair, untouched by time, as though she had simply fallen into a time stream and popped back into existence five years later.  
  
“Professor.”  
  
She turned to look at him, a slight smile on her face. “Ah, Felix.”  
  
“Care to--”  
  
“Would you li--” they both started.  
  
“To spar?” Byleth finished.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Yes,” she answered back.  
  
“Good. Well then…” They both went over to pick their preferred training swords. He thought that when this moment came, he would have more to say to her. But now that the moment had come, no words came to him. Not that either of them were much for idle conversation, he supposed. Their conversation would be through their swords.  
  
“What type of match would you like?” Byleth asked. “Point system? Until disarmed?”  
  
“We fight until submission,” Felix answered as he readied his weapon. “I will accept no less as victory.”  
  
“Very well.” Byleth took her own stance. A cunning smile appeared on her face. “Show me what you’ve learned these last five years, Felix.”  
  
The two charged forward and clashed. The first several strikes were to gauge the other’s general strength and temperament. Her strikes were just as strong as ever. He had started to forget just how strong they were over the years. But he had gotten stronger himself.  
  
Soon they fell into a familiar routine. Felix could rush her and get her on the defensive, but she always found some way to slip out from under him and force him to go on defense himself, until he too would find some way to turn the tables and take the advantage back from her. Again and again they danced like this, neither of them staying off balance long enough for the other to get a move in, neither of them giving an inch. One of them would either have to get lucky or start to wear out, or it would end in a stalemate. And that wasn’t a victory to Felix.  
  
A thought crossed his mind as they fought. The professor knew hand to hand combat, that much was certain. But every other time they had sparred, she had always been the one to knock the sword out of his hands first. The match would still continue (oftentimes because Felix insisted), and he could usually manage to disarm her back, but she always had the advantage going in. He had long suspected that he may be more skilled in unarmed combat than she was, but since she always had the advantage of a period of the match with her sword while Felix had only his fists and feet, she could still win even after being disarmed herself.  
  
_If I can disarm the professor first, I can win._ The hard part would be actually doing it. She had almost certainly realized this herself, after all. He was not about to underestimate her and think he’d come up with some terribly clever scheme. He needed to bide his time and wait for just the right moment. Going in for the disarm maneuver and missing would only give away what technique he was trying to pull off. She had used his impatience to get the better of him many times in the past. But he was much more patient now than his teenage self ever was.

In real fights on the front lines, Felix rarely tried for disarm maneuvers; he saw them as a waste of time when he could just run in and stab his opponent before they even had time to get a hit in on him. But Byleth wasn’t a normal opponent. When they next locked swords, he thrust his blade directly up to break the lock and brought his arm down around her blade, trapping it under his shoulder. Before she could pull her blade back, he pushed on her wrist with his own training sword and spun his body around to her right, which forced her wrist into such a bad angle that she had no choice but to let go of her sword. In a single second, Felix had disarmed her and taken her sword. He had never gotten this far before.

In sword fighting, there are only two “safe” places to be: Out of your opponent’s sword’s range, or so close to your opponent that they can’t use their sword’s full range. Byleth picked the latter. She tackled Felix just as he was getting back into position and knocked him off his feet. He tried to stay sitting up, but she put a knee on his chest and forced him down. She pinned his right hand with her left and grabbed onto the crossguard of the sword in his other hand and twisted until he lost his grip. She wrested the sword out of his hand and tossed it aside. Now with his left hand free, he balled up his fist and went to strike her, but she saw it coming and caught his wrist. He used that moment of distraction to pull his legs up and wrap them around her waist, locking his feet together. As much as he hated to after he’d fought so hard for both swords, Byleth had decided that this was now a grappling match, and a long sword would only get in his way. She’d never been the one to force a match this direction before. _Good._  
  
He let go of the other sword, then used his legs wrapped around her to pull her down onto her side. They fought for control of each other’s arms, hands grabbing at wrists and twisting away to see who could get a better grip. Byleth got back up on her knees and elbows, but now Felix was to her side instead of under her. His goal now was to try and get behind her if possible.  
  
If sword fighting was an elegant art of knights and nobles, then grappling had to be its opposite. Maybe that’s why Felix knew so few nobles who practiced it. It wasn’t pretty. It was raw, feral, primal. It was all limbs flailing and grabbing and twisting around each other, each person hoping to pin the other in a position they couldn’t escape from. If it weren’t for Glenn, he may have never learned much unarmed combat. But as Glenn’s favorite training dummy, he’d been punched, kicked, tossed, suplexed, and put into just about every submission hold imaginable. He soon learned to be very good at getting out of them.  
  
As they rolled across the floor, Felix kept his grip on her wrist. No matter how many times she tried to roll, kick, and yank her way out, he would not let go. He managed for a brief moment when she tried to flip him off of her, to get back up on his feet, still controlling her wrist. With his other hand holding onto her belt, he pushed her down and pulled himself around until he was behind her. _This is it_ .  
  
Byleth lunged forward to buck him off. He barely stayed on, but his grip was true. She fought to get to her knees and started to stand up to try and toss Felix off her back, but he used his weight to throw her off balance as they both fell onto their backs. She tried to undo his leg lock on her, but with her arms busy, he was free to snake his arms across her neck and grab her shirt collar. She pulled at his hands and reached up behind her to grab a fistful of hair on the back of his head, but it was no use. He had her in a back choke, and she’d missed her chance to get out of it. She struggled for a few moments before she relaxed and tapped him on the leg. He immediately let go of her and slid out from under her. He could hardly believe it. He won.

Byleth stayed lying on her back for a few moments to catch her breath. He looked down at her. Her chest, rising and falling with each breath… Her flushed face, glistening with sweat… When she opened her eyes and saw him, she smiled the biggest, most genuine smile he had ever seen adorn her face. “You did it!” she laughed.  
  
Felix had been all ready to gloat. He had been waiting for the chance to rub his victory in her stupid stony face all through his days at the academy. He’d had lines prepared in his head for this very moment. But something changed. Something felt strange. There was something different about how she was at the beginning of the match versus at the end of the match. What had she done? Or was it something he’d done? It was such a strong feeling that it shocked him. He tried to put it out of his mind and focus on his victory.  
  
He reached out his hand and helped Byleth to her feet. “Indeed. I finally notched a win against you.”  
  
“I almost had you, too.”  
  
“True. It was a narrow victory. I barely scraped by.” He looked off to the side. “When we spar, it feels like I’m revisiting the past.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”  
  
“It’s like training with my brother. He always won—always—and died before I could win a single bout. From the first time I held a sword, all I wanted was to surpass him. And that’s what drove me to become so strong.” Then he realized it. “Perhaps it’s absurd to say such a thing, but… I’ve spent all these years training for a duel with a corpse.”  
  
“I don’t think it’s absurd. After all, it means you found an answer to the question I once asked you.”

He looked back at her. She still had that pure smile on her face. He looked away again. He couldn’t seem to look at it for very long. “Yes. I suppose I did.” He sighed. “I can never again spar with my brother. Not unless he climbs out of his grave. Still, I continue my endless pursuit of strength. Maybe because I have a new opponent to measure myself against.”  
  
“Who?”

Was she being dense on purpose? “You. Obviously. I beat you this time, but when we next cross swords, who knows what might happen? It was a close match, not a crushing victory. I know that I can do better. I will surpass you in strength, and then I’ll become stronger still.”  
  
She held a hand up to her mouth and chuckled. “Don’t count me out just yet.”  
  
He was struck with more joy and elation than he’d felt in years. “Ha! Just what I was hoping you’d say.” The thought of facing her again already filled him with excitement. He’d never felt this way about a sparring partner before. “Anyway, thank you... for helping me find an answer to the question you asked, all those years ago.”  
  
“You are most welcome, Felix. It fills me with joy to see just how far you’ve come. I may no longer be your professor in any official sense, but I just want you to know how proud I am of you.”  
  
Her smile. What was with her smile? When she smiled like that, it was like trying to look directly at the sun. Like his eyes would avert themselves for his own safety. “Yes. Well… Until next time, Professor.” He gave her a quick nod and turned to leave.

•••••••••

“Heeeey, look who it is!”

Felix groaned while his old friend bounded up to him. “What is it, Sylvain?”

Sylvain wrapped his arm around the shoulders of his shorter friend. “Where have you been, Felix? I haven’t seen you all day.”  
  
“Training. Where else would I have been?”

“Of course. Why did I even ask?” Sylvain laughed. “Anyway, you must be hungry after all that. Wanna hit the dining hall?”

“Fine.”

As they sat next to one another at a table in the dining hall, Sylvain brought up his favorite topic: Women.  
  
“I still can’t get over how short Mercedes cut her hair! I mean, it was enough of a shock when Ingrid did it, but then to come back here and see Mercedes with short hair too? Wow! Though I gotta admit, it looks pretty good on her…”  
  
“Mm.”  
  
“Oh! Have you seen the other marks Petra has? I’ve never met a girl with those kinds of cool markings on her body! I knew about the one on her face, of course, but who knew she had more on her arms and back? I wonder if she had them during our time at the academy or if she got them later? Too bad I never got to check for myself…”

“...” At this rate, Felix would finish his meal long before Sylvain did. Not that that was unusual. Sylvain loved using Felix as a sounding board for anything that crossed his mind.  
  
“Did you notice how much taller Lysithea got? I mean, she’s still pretty small compared to me, but she looks more grown up. Well, sort of. Her face didn’t change much.”  
  
“Caspar is much taller now too. Maybe he’ll be more of a worthwhile training partner now.”  
  
“Oh, yeah. I guess he did, huh? Anyway, what’s so crazy is compared to the other girls, Flayn doesn’t look any different! I was looking forward to see how she’d mature, but she’s exactly the same! Even though she’s gotta be at least 20 years old, minimum, right?”  
  
“Probably.”  
  
“Although come to think of it, Shamir and Catherine haven’t changed much either, even though they’ve both got to be in their 30s now. Wait, what if… What if Flayn was in her 20s this whole time, and she just has a total babyface? That would make more sense of Seteth being her older brother…”  
  
“Mm.” Felix tried to eat faster.

“Ah, we’re so lucky to be in an army with so many beautiful ladies! So Felix, who do you think aged up the best? Who’s the best looking girl in the army, in your opinion?”  
  
“Sylvain.”  
  
“Okay, I know. Too hard to narrow it down, right? How about top five?”  
  
“Sylvain.” This time Felix turned to look him in the eyes. “I am not going to rank the women of the army by their attractiveness.”  
  
“Oh come on, it’s not serious. Surely there’s someone you find attractive?”  
  
Felix scowled. “Even if there was someone, I wouldn’t tell you.”  
  
“What? But I’m your oldest friend!”  
  
“And that’s why I put up with you. Now if you want me to rank members of the army by their skills with a sword, that’s another story.”  
  
“You know what? How about we meet in the middle. Best five FEMALE sword users in the army.”  
  
“Fine.” Felix thought for a moment. “Going off of only skill with a sword and no other weapons, I’d say... Ingrid, Lysithea, Catherine, Petra, and of course the Professor.”

“Huh, Lysithea? Didn’t think of her as a sword type.”  
  
“She’s in the training hall quite often. Her frame is small and her strikes are weak, but her speed and technique are respectable. Ingrid is alright with a sword, but she’s too hesitant to get into striking range, so she does better with a spear. Catherine and Petra are both highly skilled. Catherine would probably win out with her Crest and Relic, but without that, it’s hard to say who would win in a fight. And the Professor…” His mind drifted back to all the times he’d sparred with her before. “Well, you’ve seen how she fights. Truly a sight to behold.”

“See, you DO have a lot to say about girls! At least if I also bring up swords, but it’s a start. And you’re telling me you don’t find ANY of those ladies you just listed attractive? Not even one?”

“I never said that.”

“Oh? So which is it?”

“What does it matter, anyway?” Felix said louder than he intended, as a few other dining hall occupants glanced his way. “We’re at war. I don’t have time to be thinking about things like that.”

Sylvain sighed. “Sorry. You know I’m just messing with you. I guess...I don’t understand you. For me, that’s part of the reason why I fool around with girls so much. Who knows who will be around after the next battle? Gotta live it up while you can.”

“You didn’t have that excuse five years ago in our academy days.”

Sylvain’s spoke more quietly. “Maybe not, but I thought that after I graduated, my father was just going to arrange some noblewoman who I’d never met for me to marry. I’d be stuck in a house with a woman who only wanted me for my Crest and status and a bunch of kids I never wanted either. The war delayed that, but who’s to say that won’t happen as soon as the war ends? So even back then, I just… I wanted to live a little. I want to experience everything and everyone that I can while I still can.”

“What makes you think my situation is so different?” Felix stared at his plate. “He never said so overtly, but growing up, I’d always assumed that my father would find me a wife someday, whether I wanted one or not. At least, after Glenn’s death…” He sighed. “I didn’t like the idea, but unlike you, I guess I came to terms with it. I would live my own life and pursue my own interests, and she would do the same. We would live our separate lives and maintain a house together. More of a business arrangement than anything else.

“And what do you think now? Are you really okay with accepting a life like that, Felix?”

The thought of his hypothetical married future never made him feel happy, but for the first time that old thought filled him with a deep sense of sadness and loss.

“No… I suppose I wouldn’t be.”

Sylvain patted him on the shoulder. “Well, maybe you just need more time. But if there’s ever a girl you got your eye on, just let me know, okay? I’ll do whatever I can to help. What do you say?”

“I say I’m done eating.” Felix picked up his plate and stood up.

“What, already?”

“You talk too much. Of course I’m already done eating. See you around, Sylvain.”

••••••••••

Each day of the following week, Felix’s mind kept drifting to thoughts of Byleth during quiet moments. But wasn’t that normal? He tried to justify it to himself. Ever since they were first introduced back in the academy days, she’d held a notable place in the corner of his mind. He’d never met a better sparring partner than her. Of course he would think about her from time to time throughout the day. It was only natural.

But these thoughts were...different. More frequent. More intense. Was it because he finally won a match against her? Yes, that had to be it. Now that he’d defeated her once, he craved to fight her again. He kept replaying the beats of their last match in his head. The feeling of locking their blades, their elegant footwork, her playful smirk, the moment he managed to disarm her, her strength as she strained against his grip, her intense emerald eyes, the feeling of their bodies wrapped around one another, her fingers in his hair, her chest rising and falling, her smile…

“Mrrow!”

“Ah--!” Felix nearly tripped over a gray tabby that had darted in front of his path. “Cat! Watch where you’re going!” he shouted, and the cat darted off. “Ugh, why am I getting mad at a cat?” He shook his head. This would not do at all. These thoughts were distracting him. He had to get to the bottom of this.

“Hello Felix.” It was Byleth.

“Oh. Hello, Professor.”

“Are you busy at the moment?” she asked.

“I was just on my way to train.”

“Ah, of course. Well then, I won’t keep you.” She turned to leave.

“What did you need?”

“Hm?” She turned back around. “Oh, nothing urgent. I simply wanted to know if you’d like to join me for tea. But if you’re busy, it can be another time.”

He did really want to get to training. But he also felt like he really wanted to be around her… Maybe if he got this out of the way now, he could concentrate on training better afterward.

“No, it’s fine, we can get tea.”

“Are you sure?”

Felix nodded.

“Very well.” She smiled. “Hm, it’s a bit crowded in the terrace during this time of day. Would you like to go somewhere more quiet?”

“Yes, that sounds nice.” Felix never liked too many people in his vicinity anyway.

“Okay. Follow me.” Byleth lead him through the monastery grounds until they arrived at the dormitory. “It’s not much to look at, but why not join me in my room?” She gestured to the room at the north end of the building.

“Wait… This is where your room is? But this is the student’s dormitory. I thought you lived in the faculty building?”

Byleth shrugged as she walked up the steps to the doors. “I guess they were out of rooms? I never really asked; this is just where Seteth set me up when I was first hired on.”

“...In the commoner boys section of the dorm?”

She laughed. “Yes. Probably wouldn’t have been my first choice, had I known that ahead of time, but all my stuff is there and I lived in it for a year, so it feels like home now.” She opened the double doors and stepped aside for him to enter. Her room was clean, or at least as clean as one could expect an old monastery room full of old furniture and an old rug to be. Felix was surprised to see she’d already set up a table and chairs for them to sit at. On the table was a teaset and a tiered stand of various pastries. She noticed him looking at all of the food.

“Ah, please don’t feel pressured to eat any of the sweets. Mercedes keeps baking them for me faster than I can eat them, so I thought I’d offer them to anyone who came over.”

“I see.” Of course. She probably invited people over here all the time. Nothing unusual about that. She was close with all of her former students, after all.

“Please, sit. I’ll make the tea.” Felix took a seat. He recalled a previous time the professor had asked to have tea with him back in his academy days. It had been awhile, but he didn’t remember the tea set being nearly this nice before. He recalled her asking him a lot of questions, but he couldn’t remember what they had talked about anymore. “I went a little overboard at the market the other day, so I have quite a lot of kinds of tea to pick from,” she said as she dug through some drawers on her desk. “I think there was a new one I haven’t tried yet in here, but it sounded like something you would like. Ah, here we are. It’s called Four Spice Blend.  
  
“Sounds intriguing.”

“That’s what I thought. Let’s try some.”

As Byleth made the tea, Felix wondered where she learned how to do it so well from. Not that preparing tea was a terribly difficult task, but her graceful movements suggested someone with practice. He couldn’t imagine Jeralt teaching her something like that.

“Here you are.” She offered him a cup.  
  
“Why thank you.” He took a sip. “Oh...this tastes good.”

“I’m glad you like it.” She took a sip from her own cup. “Mm, I like this one as well.”

A few moments passed in silence as they drank their tea. Felix tried to think of something to talk about, but his mind felt strangely blank.

“Say...do you recall the first time we met?” Byleth asked.

Felix thought for a moment. “I don’t recall a lot of detail, but I do remember thinking that you were a new student, not the new professor.”

She laughed. “That was Professor Manuela’s idea. She thought it would be funny if it was a surprise. If I recall correctly...you were talking with Ingrid. She introduced you to me, and you immediately challenged me to a fight.”

“Oh.” He shifted in his seat. “Is that what I said?” It did sound like something his more impulsive teenage self would have said.

“Something like that. I remember thinking both, ‘Oh no, this one’s going to be trouble,’ and, ‘Ah, I think I’m going to like this one.’”

“Ha. And I remember thinking, ‘At least they hired someone with real combat experience. That last teacher was a joke.’ But… I hope I didn’t cause you too much trouble as a student.”

“Not at all. Well… There were a few times early on in the year when you kept disrupting my tactics lectures,” she answered. She didn’t sound angry about it. If anything, she sounded happy. He had no idea why that memory would make her happy. He currently wished he could go back in time and punch his younger self.

“Urgh, don’t remind me. Ingrid still won’t let me live that down.”

She laughed. “I’m sure she wouldn’t.”

Byleth took a berry tart off the tray of sweets and began to eat it. Felix, feeling compelled to eat something as well, chose a biscuit in hopes it was the least sugary option.

“Say,” Byleth started, “you enjoy hunting, do you not? What do you most enjoy hunting?”

“Boar.” Felix answered without missing a beat.

“Wild boar?” she gasped, then laughed. “Goodness, even I can still get intimidated hunting boar.”

“You’ve hunted boar before?” He was surprised. She didn’t seem the type.

“Yeah. I’ve hunted just about anything edible. Back in our mercenary days, Jeralt and I traveled all the time. Despite this, my father was… hmm… Well, he wasn’t always the best at planning ahead. There were a few times that the food he bought for us didn’t end up being enough for the journey, so we just had to make due off the land. And if the nearest thing was a big angry boar, well…”

“Hm. You really are a survivor, through and through. No wonder you’re so strong.”

She smiled. She sure smiled a lot more frequently these days. “We should go hunting together sometime.”

“Sounds like fun. I bet I can catch more than you can, though.”

“Already challenging me to a contest, are you?” She leaned forward across the table. “Well then, I gladly accept.”

Her smile looked the same as the cunning smile she wore as they started their last sparring match. It filled him with excitement and made want to fight her again. That’s what it was, right? The excitement of fighting someone strong. It was just that feeling, but more intense. And no one had ever been so interested in competing with him. So of course he’d feel a bit different around her than when he was around other people. That was to be expected.

What was she doing with her eyes? That look... Her gaze was so fixated, so intense, it was hard to look directly at after a bit. And why was she so close?

“You’re staring at me,” Felix said.

“Oh!” She moved back a little. “My apologies. It’s just… You have such beautiful eyes. It’s hard not to get lost in them sometimes…”

“I… huh?” Felix was taken aback.

“You have such long eyelashes… And your piercing gaze is so fierce, yet so elegant. Like the eyes of a falcon…”

“Oh.” He didn’t know what else to say. No one had ever commented on his eyes beyond Sylvain once saying they were “kind of scary” and Ingrid scolding him to get enough sleep and drink more water because his eyes looked “too sunken in.” He couldn’t recall anyone telling him he had beautiful eyes. Were eyes something that “normal” people talked about, but he’d never heard come up? It wouldn’t have been the first time something like that had happened. He’d never felt skilled in the art of conversation. When in doubt he tried to simply mirror the talking point back. “Your eyes are, um… very green.”

“Yes, they really are.” She pulled at a piece of her hair “I’m still not used to my new eye and hair color myself. It feels like it all happened only a few months ago... “

“Well, I suppose for you it really was only a few months ago.”  
  
“Yeah…” Byleth stared into her teacup. She seemed upset. Felix really wasn’t sure what to do now. He’d never felt like he was any good at consoling people.

“Is something the matter?” he asked.

She sighed. “Nothing major, it’s just… I feel a lot of guilt for disappearing like that five years ago. Even though we never held a proper ceremony, you all had graduated and were no longer my students. But I still had to protect all of you. It wasn’t even a choice in my mind, I simply had to do it. And you all chose to stay and fight alongside me. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing the place we’d all called home. Of losing any of you. But because of that, I…” She clenched her fist. “I couldn’t be there for any of you as you went to war. I really did think I was dead. Or as much as anyone can ‘think’ that they’re dead. I had no thoughts at all. No dreams, no visions, no feelings… nothing. Until all of a sudden, something. And I was back. Like nothing had ever happened.”

What was he supposed to say to that? He couldn’t relate; he’d never had an even remotely similar experience. But it was clear this thought caused her distress. And the truth was, he had been angry when he found out she had “died.” He DID feel like she had let them all down, even though he had been angry at himself for thinking such thoughts. So did she deserve to feel guilt over it all? But when he looked at her face… No, she didn’t deserve that.

“I’m glad you returned to us,” Felix said after a moment. She looked up at him. “Sorry, I can’t think of much else to say on the matter besides that.”

She looked down at her teacup again, but smiled. “Thank you, Felix. That means a lot to me.”

Oh good, she liked that. He thought he should say something else nice about her. But what? How? He tried running through different “nice” things he could say to her, but they all sounded too fake, hollow, or sarcastic in his head. “Well, I…” he started. She looked at him. He could feel his face getting flushed. “I, uh…” Why was this so difficult? Why couldn’t he just look at her and say something nice? “I appreciate all that you do for me…”

Now she wasn’t just smiling, she was beaming. It was too bright again; he couldn’t look directly at her.

“Oh, that reminds me.” Byleth stood up and went over to her desk. “In appreciation of all that you have done for me as well…” She pulled out a rectangular box, about 60cm long, and set it on the table in front of him. “This is for you. Happy birthday, Felix.”

“Huh? Oh!” That’s right, it was his birthday today. There had been so much else going on that he had completely forgotten about it. “Thank you.”

She sat back down and waited. Felix slid open the wooden box. Inside was a finely crafted hunting knife. He gently picked it up and admired the blade from different angles. It was clearly an expensive blade crafted by a skilled blacksmith, and was a perfect blend of a beautiful form and utilitarian function. The intricate design of the Crest of Flames had been engraved at the base of the blade. “Ah, this is nice.” He couldn’t help but grin.

She blushed. “I’m glad you like it. Dimitri once told me that blades are a traditional gift in Faerghus. As a symbol of a way to cut a path to a better future, or something like that. I hope you don’t think it too presumptuous of me to put my own crest on there. I just thought that, well, wherever your journey will take you in the future, you could keep this knife with you and remember me. That is, um, and remember your time here at Garreg Mach.”

She seemed rather flustered all of a sudden. He wasn’t sure why. There was nothing to be embarrassed about; this was the nicest birthday present he’d received in a long time. “Thank you, Professor. I will certainly make use of this.”

She sighed with relief. “Ah, I’m so glad you like it. Hehe, you all still call me ‘Professor,’ even though I’m no longer your teacher. It’s funny.”

“Oh, do you not like that?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s kind of cute, actually.”

“Uh, ‘cute’?” He didn’t want to call her something that sounded cute… But that was the only way he’d ever addressed her. “What if we called you ‘Commander?’”

“Well, I guess it’s not _wrong_ , but… It’s so...official.”

“And ‘Professor’ is not?”

“True… I guess I’m just more used to it. But if you’d like, you may call me by my name. I have no problem with that.”

“Oh. Just call you by your name, huh?” Byleth. Something felt far too awkward about calling her that directly to her face. He could hear it in his mind, but the actual sound wouldn’t come out of his mouth. “Sorry, it seems I’m too used to ‘Professor’ as well.”

“Ah, fair enough.” She noticed Felix had finished his tea. “Well, I don’t mean to hold you up for too long. I know you have training to get to. I have some other matters to attend to first, but if you’re still at the training hall later, we can train together.”

Would he get to spar with her again so soon? He felt his pulse quicken. “That sounds nice.” They both stood up, gathered their things and stood by the door. “Thanks for your hospitality. I hope you’ll invite me again sometime,” he said, feeling overly stiff and formal, but also feeling as though it would be rude not to say such.

“Of course.”

They stood there silently for a moment. Felix thought he should wait for her to open to door to show him out, but she just stood there.

“Hey, um…” Byleth fidgeted with her hands and looked off to the side. “May I, um, give you a hug?”

“Huh?” Felix blinked. No one had ever asked if they could hug him before. Typically the people who wanted to hug him just went for it whether he wanted them to or not. “Uh, okay.” He had only hugged her once before, and that was shortly after Jeralt had passed away. Even then, it was more of an awkward group hug in the classroom with Sylvain, who had done 90% of the actual hugging.

She approached him and wrapped her arms around him the way she would a somewhat skittish cat; slowly, without any sudden movements, gently increasing the pressure she held him with, until it wasn’t too much or too little. He wasn’t sure where to put his arms at first. They hovered above her for a bit before his hands came to rest on her waist. He was used to how she felt when they were sparring. There, she was coarse, tensed, her muscles hard and flexed. But here she was soft. So unbelievably soft. He didn’t want her to let go.

She turned her head and gazed up at him. She was staring at him again. What was he supposed to do? She was so close. Her eyes were such deep intense green. He could see each individual eyelash hair, each tiny fluctuation in her pupils contracting… It was all so much. Too much. TOO MUCH.

He pulled away. “Sorry, I uh, I’ll see you around. Excuse me.” He gave a curt nod and hastened out.  
  
•••••••


	2. Isn't that just being nice?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix gets roped in to joining Ashe and Ingrid's book club and Sylvain discovers his friend is completely oblivious to women flirting with him.

Lone Moon (March), 1186

Rodrigue was here. Felix kept telling himself that his father’s presence was a good thing. The army needed his troops, and any further wall between Dimitri and his madness would be a positive development, because he wasn’t sure that the professor and Gilbert were enough on their own. Certainly any of Felix’s own words had fallen on deaf ears. But he still wasn’t happy about this development. He avoided his father when at all possible. It was making training more difficult.

Today he found himself in the library. With nothing better to do until he was sure the coast was clear, he sat down at a table in the corner and picked up the nearest book, titled “ _The Dragon’s Gate Chronicles: The Blade of Raging Fire._ ” Skimming through it, it sounded like some sort of knight’s adventure tale that Ashe or Ingrid would like. Some fancy noble and his friends on a quest to rescue someone or retrieve something, by the looks of it. How trite. He opened to where someone had left a bookmark.

> Her long, seafoam hair billowed behind her as she ran, her tears falling to the ground.
> 
>   
> “Ninian!”
> 
>   
> She turned, her crimson eyes full of tears. “Lord Eliwood…”
> 
> “I finally caught up with you. What’s wrong, Ninian?”
> 
> She sniffed and turned to hide her face from him. “Please, do not worry on my
> 
> account. I… I am not worthy—I am not even worthy to stand in your sight, Lord
> 
> Eliwood. I have been deceiving you.”
> 
> “Yes, you said as much before. Ninian… You have been keeping some secret from us,
> 
> haven’t you?”
> 
> “Yes…”
> 
> “And… you can’t tell me what it is. Am I right?”
> 
> “...Yes.”
> 
> “Very well.”
> 
> She looked back up at him in surprise. “What…?”
> 
> He placed his hand on her shoulder. “If it is too hard for you to talk about, I will not
> 
> force you. Just… if you ever feel able, tell me then.”

_Ugh, how long has he even known this girl?_ Felix thought. _And he’s going to trust her just like that. How stupid._

> “But…!” Her face scrunched up to hold back her tears. “I have lied to you and the
> 
> others.”
> 
> “Ninian…” Eliwood wiped the tears away from her face. “I love you. That will not
> 
> change, no matter what may come.”

Felix groaned and rolled his eyes.

> “Oh, Lord Eliwood…”
> 
> “I don’t care what your secret is—I will still feel the same. If something troubles you, let
> 
> me sweep it away. Please, don’t cry anymore. I would do anything to see you smile
> 
> again. You are the first woman I have ever felt this way about, Ninian.” He held her in a
> 
> tight embrace.
> 
> “Lord Eliwood…” she cried into his shoulder. “I… I don’t know what—Lord Eliwood…
> 
> Lord Eliwood…!”

Felix sighed and set the book open face down on the table. Was this really what people were into? He sat in silence for a minute. At least the only other people in the library right now were a few monks minding their own business. Still, he was bored and restless. He picked the book back up and flipped to an earlier section of the book. Maybe another chapter would be less schlocky.

> In the heart of the forest, the party was greeted by the looming shadow of a massive
> 
> structure. Its size and scale suggested something that was not wrought by human
> 
> hands. Abandoned for centuries, it had been waiting for its inhuman hosts to return.
> 
> “We’re here,” said Eliwood. “This must be… the Dragon’s Gate.”
> 
> Ninian began to tremble. “...This place... so frightening. Something... powerful…”

_Ugh, these two, still?_ Felix thought.

> “It’s her power, isn’t it?” Lyn said.
> 
> “Her power?” Hector asked. “What power?”
> 
> “Ninian has the ability to sense impending danger,” Lyn explained. “Her memory may
> 
> be gone, but her power remains.”

_An amnesiac? How convenient._

> "What is it you sense, Ninian?” Eliwood asked.
> 
> “I… should not have… come here. Something awful will happen if I’m here. Ah!!”
> 
> “Ninian?!” Eliwood grabbed her shoulders. “Snap out of it!”
> 
> “This place… No… I… I…!”

_Can this woman speak in anything but ellipses? Why is she even with their adventuring party?_

> “She’s getting worse! Let’s get her away from here!”
> 
> Elliwood took her hand to lead her away, but suddenly a chilling voice rang out from
> 
> the darkness, echoing off the ancient structures. “You’ll not be going anywhere.” A man
> 
> in a deep purple hooded robe appeared out of nowhere in front of them. Though much
> 
> of his face was obscured, he had glowing golden eyes like a cat. “That little bird has
> 
> escaped this island cage twice. Now that she’s back, she’ll not be allowed to fly away
> 
> again.”

_This guy talks like Hubert._ In Felix’s mind, it was now just Hubert in a silly costume.

> “Who are you?!” Eliwood shouted.
> 
> “We meet at last. I am Ephidel. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

_Better name than Hubert._

> “You’re Ephidel?” Hector hefted his axe up. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

This Hector character seemed alright. There was at least something happening in this part of the book.

> Ephidel scowled. “...Gallantly spoken. Of course, I know who you are. Marquess
> 
> Ostia’s younger brother, Lord Hector. And here we have Caelin’s beloved princess,
> 
> Lady Lyndis.” Lyn answered only with a glare. “By the way, the gift I left in the forest…
> 
> Was it to your liking? The corpse of that filthy red-haired traitor?”
> 
> “Monster!” Hector gripped his axe even tighter. “Stay right there. I’m going to crush the
> 
> life from you with my bare hands!”

Now he was starting to sound more like The Boar...

> “Now I see!” Ephidel laughed. “She was an Ostian spy, wasn’t she? Don’t worry, she
> 
> did not suffer. It only took one blow.”
> 
> “Die!!” Hector charged and swung his axe down, but Ephidel vanished in a red haze.
> 
> “Huh? Where’d he go?!”
> 
> “What? Aaaah!”
> 
> Everyone turned to see that Ephidel had teleported behind Ninian and grabbed her
> 
> arms. “This girl is needed for my master’s ceremony.”

Felix thought of all the ways he could get out of an easy hold like that.

> “Ninian!” Eliwood lunged toward her.
> 
> “Lord Eliwood! Leave me!” And with that, Ephidel vanished again along with Ninian.

_How far away are these people from each other? Stop talking about it and move!_

> Lyn frantically glanced all around her. “He’s gone.”

_Because none of you people can react fast enough!_

“Felix?”

“What?!” he snapped before even looking up from the book.

Ashe jumped back. “Ah! N-nothing!”

“Oh, Ashe.” It occurred to Felix that he had been hearing Eliwood’s lines as Ashe in his head. “Sorry, I was thinking about… something else.”

“I-it’s fine, I did kind of sneak up on you… But anyway, I didn’t realize you liked romance novels!” Ashe had that happy sparkle in his eyes again.

“What? I don’t like romance novels.”

“Huh? But you’re reading one right now…”

“And I don’t like it.”

“...Then why are you reading it?”

“Because--! Because it was just sitting here!” It wasn’t a lie.

Ashe sighed and shook his head. “Felix, it’s okay. You don’t have to be so defensive about it. Romance is one of the most popular book genres, there’s nothing wrong with liking it. That one you’re reading now is one of my favorites!”

Of course it would be one of Ashe’s favorites. “Look, you’ve got the wrong idea.”

“Fine, be stubborn about it. But you liked the last book I recommended, didn’t you?”

“Only because I read it as a kid.”

“Well, this book is a story of adventure and intrigue too, you know. It just is a romance as well. I think you’d like it.”

“Like it?” He picked up the book and pointed at the illustration on the cover. “This knight here is so naive, it drives me crazy! And-- And this girl back here! The love interest, right? She keeps losing her memory and getting kidnapped! What kind of basis is that for a romance? And these other two over here, are they also forced into some unnecessary romance with each other as well? And what about--”

Ashe put a hand over his mouth to hide it, but it was obvious now that he was laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just--” Ashe took a moment to catch his breath. “You seem awfully invested in the story for not liking it.”

“That’s because--!” He stopped and took a deep breath. No, he was not going to have some stupid argument over books again. “It doesn’t matter. The book was here and I was reading it. Maybe it’s good, maybe it isn’t. I don’t know, I haven’t read much of it.”

“Why don’t you hang onto it for now, then?” Ashe said. “I was re-reading it myself, but I think you should borrow it. Ingrid and I have just started reading through this book and talking about it together. We like to meet up on Wednesday evenings and talk about the latest books we’ve been reading. You could join us, if you want.”

Felix stared, brows furrowed. “Uh. What?” Was Ashe trying to invite him to some kind of book club? Is that what this was about?

Ashe appeared to be forced back by the weight of Felix’s stare. “N-no pressure or anything! I mean, I should probably ask Ingrid before I go inviting anyone else, right? Right. Never mind, don’t worry about it!” Ashe backed himself into a table and was so startled he nearly fell over. “Anyway, nice meeting you here! I, um, havetogonowbye!” Ashe continued backing his way out of the library, nearly clipping the doorframe on the way out.  
  
“What was that about? I just wanted him to clarify what he meant.” Felix sighed. “Now I’m stuck with this stupid book.”

•••••••

The sun had just set as Felix returned to Garreg Mach. He had used the excuse of procuring supplies to dodge his father that day. It wasn’t a lie. He had just traded shifts with someone else to do it. As he passed through the Entrance Hall, he spotted Sylvain.

“Sylvain. Eat these.” Just as Sylvain turned to look, he lobbed a small bag of konpeito at his friend’s chest. Sylvain caught it and examined it.

“What are ‘these,’ Felix?” He opened the bag and poured a few pieces into his hand. “Oh hey, is this candy?”

“A girl in town gave them to me, but I don’t want them.”

“Right, you don’t like sweet stuff. Thanks, I’ll eat them later.” Sylvain put the candies back in their bag and put it in his pocket. “So, what do you need? Want me to help you get closer to a girl? Just point her out.”

Felix had a short moment of panic. Did Sylvain know something? No, that was impossible. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He was just being the same Sylvian as always. He was momentarily overcome with a vision of just how badly the scenario would play out if he did ever point a girl out to him. What a nightmare. There was no way he’d ever admit anything like that to Sylvain. Felix scowled. “You’re incorrigible. No. I wanted to thank you for your help in battle. If you hadn’t spotted that enemy ambush, I would have been killed.”

“Nah, I didn’t do anything special.” Sylvain grinned. “Friends help each other out, especially on the battlefield. Just a little give and take, ya know?” How could he be so casual about all this? It drove Felix up the wall. They both could have been killed, and now here he was, grinning like an idiot.

“You never change.”

“Nope. I try to stay on an even keel.”

Why was his smile so charming, yet so irritating? “You’re always…” Felix started.

“Always what?”

He sighed. “Nothing.”

“Come on. If you’ve got something on your mind, then say it.”

“Maybe I’ll tell you later. Maybe I won’t.”

“Fair enough. I’ll be having something to eat while you’re deciding...whatever it is you’re deciding. Actually, come with me. My treat. If you do want to talk, then I’m right there.”

“Okay, just this once. Only because you saved my life.”

Sylvain laced his fingered around the back of his neck and leaned back. “Free food, possible conversation, and when we’re done, we can find some girls.”

Felix glared at his friend, then turned around to leave.

“It was a joke! Felix, I was joking! Come on, let’s just go eat.”

The dining hall was busy this time of night. Felix would have rather just taken his food back to his room at this time, but he couldn’t turn down Sylvain, not after he’d just saved his life. At least Rodrigue was nowhere to be seen.  
  


“Come on, pickled rabbit skewers? Order something tastier than that,” Sylvain whined.

“What’s wrong with rabbit skewers?”

“I wanted to get something we could both enjoy."

“Order something you like, then. You know what I like already.”

“Sweet buns it is.”

Felix glared.

Sylvain shook his head. “Felix, you’ve really gotta learn how to take a joke. I know you want meat. Let’s just get the spicy fish dango.”

As they took their plates and went to sit down, Sylvain nudged Felix and did a little eyebrow quirk and head tilt when he looked at him. “Hey, speaking of sweet buns…”

_Oh no…_ Felix followed Sylvain’s gaze to see that he was staring at Dorothea’s butt, who had just set her plate down at the table a row over. It was a shame she didn’t hear him over the ambient noise of the dining hall; Felix knew Dorothea would have no qualms about slapping Sylvain upside the head if she thought he deserved it.

Felix growled and sat down.

“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t help it. The pun was just sitting there!”

“You’re just lucky I was carrying a plate of food, or I would have punched you for that.”

“Heh, yeah, I believe that.”

After eating for a few minutes, Sylvain broached the topic again, “So anyway, what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

“Huh?” Felix had to stop and remember what it was himself. It could have been one of a few different potential topics. “Oh, that. Look, it’s great that you spotted that ambush, but you just ran right in front of the enemy and left yourself wide open to attack from multiple angles. You need to think more carefully before you run in like that.”

“I didn’t have time to think about it, it was an ambush! That’s part of what makes it an ambush!”

“You think about it and prepare ahead of time during training. Then when something happens in battle, you don’t have to take any time to think about it, because it’s second nature. You do it over and over and over again until it becomes instinct.”

Sylvain sank down in his seat and sighed. “Yeah, I know. You’re right. You’re always right... So was that all you wanted to talk about? Scold me to practice more?”

“I don’t enjoy scolding you about it. It’s just… I would get really mad if you got hurt, or… Look, would you just practice more? You know I’ll train with you anytime.”

Sylvain perked up a bit. “Oh, I see. Heh, you have a weird way of telling people you care about them, but I’ll take it.”

“Take it however you want.” Felix assumed any direct sincerity on his part would be taken as sarcasm or a bad joke. Why was that how it always felt to him, anyway? Was it because Glenn had been the same way?

A chorus of laughter broke out on the other side the dining hall. The professor was sharing a meal with Hilda and Ferdinand and a few other soldiers. Judging from her posing and voice, everyone at the table was reacting to a particularly animated story Hilda was telling about her brother. Felix was thankful for the distraction.

Sylvain began eating the candy Felix had given him earlier. “You sure you don’t want to try any of this candy? I know it’s not really your thing, but this stuff is pretty expensive.”

“I’ve never shopped for such things, so I wouldn’t know.”

“Yeah, it takes a lot of prep time and refining to make these kinds of sugar candies. You said a girl in town gave these to you, right? Who was it? Anyone I know?”

“It was that girl who sells produce in town with her family. I think they usually sell turnips and beets and carrots, stuff like that.”

“What?!” Sylvain gasped. “Veggie Girl gave these to you? The one with the long dark wavy hair?”

“Yeah. So what?”

“‘So what’?! Don’t give me that look and say ‘so what’! She’s gorgeous! And she clearly likes you! Ask her out already!"

“Why would I do that? I don’t even know her.”

“Then ask her out and get to know her! That’s how it works.”

“Sounds like a pain. No thanks.”

“Uhhhhgh.” Sylvian sank onto the table. “I really don’t get how your brain works sometimes, Felix. You have beautiful women tripping all over themselves to get your attention, and you barely even notice or care!”

Felix made a single sharp laugh like a bark. “Ha! I don’t know what you think you’re seeing, Sylvain. I can assure you that is not the case.”

“Oh really? So what about that cute blacksmith who keeps giving you discounts?”

“I’m a frequent customer. It’s just a business strategy.”

“And that one dining hall worker who likes to give you a slightly bigger portion every time she’s working?”

“She’s bad at portioning things out evenly.”

“And that monk who talks to you about cats each time she sees you?”

“We both like cats. It’s something to talk about besides the weather.”

Sylvain stared in disbelief at him and blinked a few times. “Felix, do you… do you not know what flirting looks like?”

Felix raised an eyebrow. “Of course I know what flirting looks like. I hang around _you_ of all people, how could I not know what flirting looks like?”

“Oh no…” Sylvain ran his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture. “And here I thought Caspar was clueless… This explains a lot, actually, but…” He took a deep breath. “Okay, so when I flirt with women, that looks very different from how they flirt back. I like to have some lines ready about how beautiful they are and invite them out right away. When girls flirt with a guy, it’s different.”

“How so?”

“Well, they like to be a little less blatant. They tend to show they’re interested in you through their actions and expressions more than words.”

Felix made a sour face. He was reminded of a book on court etiquette he’d had to read years ago, and how tedious and pointless it all sounded. “Like what?”

“Like giving gifts, big or small. Girls that really like you will pay attention to your interests so they can give you something more personalized. Or they may complement something about you. Quieter girls don’t like to lay it on too thick, so they’ll pick out one or two traits to compliment you on and leave it at that.”

“Oh.” Felix thought for a moment. “Isn’t that just being nice?”

“I mean, yeah, but it’s extra nice. Above and beyond nice. Special niceness that’s reserved for a select few.”

“And you think all these women you mentioned are being ‘extra nice’ to me?”

“Yes! None of those girls do that kind of stuff for me! Not to say I don’t get favors from some other ladies, but…”

“So, then… What you’re saying is…” Felix’s mind went back to a couple weeks ago. “ _I think there was a new tea I haven’t tried yet in here, but it sounded like something you would like.” “We should go hunting together sometime.” “You have such beautiful eyes. It’s hard not to get lost in them sometimes_ …” His eyes widened. _Oh no..._

“Aaaaand there it is. Do you get it now?” Sylvain laughed at his friend’s bewildered expression. “You offered to help me with my training, so I’m offering to help you with the ladies. You’re a man of few words, so I can get in there and break the ice for you. Talk you up a bit, make ‘em curious to know more.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Felix tried to stay cool, but it was clear he was flustered.  
  


“Not that, huh? There’s gotta be something I can help you with, though… Oh, how about picking out presents for girls? I’ve been told I’m pretty good at that.”

“No thanks.”

“Come on, Felix! I have a limited skill set! You’ve got to work with me here.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. If you really want to do something for me, then just train with me. That’s enough.”

“Fine, fine.” Sylvain shook his head. “I just worry about you sometimes. I know you’re not a people person, but you isolate yourself away sometimes, and I… Ah, never mind. Training it is. For now.”

•••••••

The next morning, Felix was heading to the training hall when he heard someone call his name.

“Felix!” It was Ingrid’s voice. He turned around to see her jogging toward him from the dormitory stairs.

“What?” He wondered if she was here to scold him again for not talking to his father.

She caught up to him, but seemed hesitant. “It’s, well… Ashe and I have been trying to start a book club, you see, and… I heard you might be interested.”

“Oh. That.”

“We just started a new book, and so we thought we should try to invite some more people to join us. I know you’re not a big book person, but I think you might enjoy it. You always have some… strong opinions on books, shall we say.”

“I’m not sure why you’d want me in a book club. Aren’t there other people you’d rather invite?”

Ingrid looked away. “Well… yes. And I will be inviting them. But I still wanted to invite you. Ashe said he saw you reading the book we’re just starting anyway, so I thought you may have some interest after all.”

“So Ashe told you about that? Hmph.”

“You don’t have to like every book we pick, but it’s a good learning experience. Hearing from someone who is honest about their opinions when they don’t like something can also be valuable commentary. Just… well… at least try to keep an open mind about it?”

“...I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. If you do decide to join us, we’re meeting tomorrow in the library after dinner to discuss the first two chapters.” Ingrid nodded and went on her way.

Felix found himself wondering if the Professor would be there. Probably not. He hadn’t been able to talk to her alone in some time. She was always busy, running to and from somewhere, doing her best to make sure everything was running smoothly, a task made much more difficult by the state Dimitri was in. It seemed like it was her, Rodrigue, and Gilbert who had to deal with The Boar full time and keep him from doing something stupid and reckless. Every time Felix had tried to approach him thus far had been an exercise in futility. Felix knew all too well that giving Dimitri full control of the army would get them all killed in the state he was in. As much as he wasn’t enthused by the idea, maybe a book club would be a good distraction from all of that.

That night after finishing his training, Felix retired to his room earlier than usual and sat at his desk. He stared at the cover of the book Ashe had lent him. It featured a young man with short red hair and blue clothes flanked on either side by a big armored man with an axe and a woman with long dark hair tied back in a ponytail and a curved sword. In the background above them was a young woman with her eyes closed in prayer with long light green hair, a color not so different from the Professor’s. He cracked open the book and started reading it from the beginning. The opening was rather slow, he felt. A lot of world building and names and places right out of the gate. He was about halfway through the first chapter when he heard a man’s voice drifting down from the end of the hall.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that!”

Oh no. It was Sylvain’s voice. Felix’s room was two doors down from Sylvain’s room, but the sound would still sometimes carry through the windows and echo off the stone walls of the hallway. Enough noise complaints had been filed back in the academy days that Sylvain knew not to bring girls back to his room and get too loud after most people had gone to bed. But Felix had gone to his room unusually early tonight. Sylvain probably didn’t even know he was here. Maybe he could just wait it out? No, this was Sylvain; he rarely did these things quickly… 

A female voice shrieked and giggled. Then two thoughts Felix had never connected collided in his mind: Sylvain’s room was at the end of the hall on the second floor. The professor’s room was the last room at the end of the first floor. So this entire time at the academy, she would have heard everything. EVERYTHING.

Felix growled and slapped the book shut. He couldn’t even be mad; Sylvain was doing what people had asked him to do and not making a ruckus after everyone had gone to bed, but somehow that fact, and the fact that it was the Professor who was likely impacted the most by this, made him angry anyway. He threw the book into his bag, put on his coat, and exited his room. He would just have to go read in the library for an hour or so. The only one likely to be there at this time of night was Linhardt, and he was good at minding his own business

It was dark outside, but it was a clear enough night that Felix didn’t bother bringing a lantern; finding his way around the monastery was so second nature to him now that moonlight was more than enough to navigate by. As he crossed the grounds heading to the library, he noticed two figures crossing the bridge back from the cathedral to the reception hall. He couldn’t make them out at that distance in the darkness, but one had a lantern. He wondered if it was Dimitri. He wasn’t sure where Dimitri slept; he hadn’t seen or heard him in the dormitory halls even once. Not that Dimitri would want to be in his old room at this moment… But then where did he sleep?

As Felix entered into the hall and headed for the staircase, he could hear quiet voices. One voice sounded like the professor. The other voice was a man’s, but it wasn’t Dimitri’s voice, it was… Felix froze. It was his father’s voice.

“Of course, Professor. It would be my honor. Please don’t hesitate to call on me if you need anything.”

“I… Thank you, my lord. That means a lot to me.”

Why would his father call her “Professor?” She was never his teacher. Something about that irritated Felix.

“You may just call me Rodrigue, if you wish.”

“Are you sure? Well then, thank you, Rodrigue.”

His father didn’t let just anyone address him without a title. That was something typically reserved for close friends and family members. Why did he feel so close to her? Sure, he was helping to advise her and Dimitri, but still… 

There was a quiet moment before they bid each other goodnight a entered into the hall. Felix darted back outside. The footsteps parted ways, one heading the opposite direction toward the Knights Hall, the other heading toward him, but they turned and went up the stairs to the second floor. When it sounded clear, he reentered the hall and went upstairs. He caught a glimpse of Byleth at the end of the second floor hall heading up the stairs to the third floor. He realized he’d never been to the third floor before. It was off limits back in the academy days as the archbishop’s personal domain, but with Rhea missing… Felix was overcome with curiosity. He waited for a bit as to not sound like he was trying to follow her. Because he wasn’t trying to follow her. He just needed to tell her about…Dimitri, yes. Dimitri hadn’t been back to his quarters in some time, she’d probably want to know that.

He initially didn’t see her on the third floor. The doors to the archbishop’s quarters were closed, and he felt weird about messing with them. Instead he ventured down the hall in the opposite direction where the doors opened up onto a terrace. He heard a quiet voice speaking that sounded like the professor.

“...was you, wasn’t it? You’re the one who woke me up. You saved me.”

Who was she talking to? Was Dimitri hiding out up here? He got closer to the doors. She was standing at the edge of the pond on the right, staring into the water. He didn’t see anyone else with her.

“I know I can’t speak to you anymore, but you can still hear me, right? I wish I could know what you thought of all of this… I feel as though everyone is looking to me to solve this, to be the catalyst that sparks change and turns the tides. But I’m still just one person. A person who fell into this role by strange happenstance and nothing more. I want to be the leader that they see me as. I want to lead them to victory. But if Gilbert, Rodrigue, and all his former classmates aren’t enough to persuade Dimitri to change his course, what is left for me to say or do that hasn’t already been said? And now on top of all of that, this…” She appeared to look down at something in her hand. “You’ll still come and scold me if I’m about to do something stupid, won’t you, Sothis?”

_Sothis?_ Was she praying? She didn’t seem the type. Felix turned around to leave. She was clearly having a personal moment -- this was no time for him to be bothering her.

“How did that song go again? The one you said you taught Rhea? It was nice. It was something like…”

_In time’s flow, see the glow_

_Of flames ever burning bright_

_On a swift river’s drift_

_Broken memories alight_

Felix stopped and turned back around. Her voice… Everything else on his mind slipped away.

“Was there more to it than that? I don’t remember… What is it supposed to mean, anyway? Hmm…” She put something in her pocket and turned around to leave, only to find Felix standing transfixed in doorway.

“Oh, hello,” said Byleth, a bit startled. “My apologies, I didn’t think there was anyone else up here…” Felix was at a loss for words. “Um, is everything okay?”

“Huh?” He was more startled than she was. “Yes, everything’s fine, it’s just… I didn’t know you could sing.”

She looked away, embarrassed. “Sing? Ha, not really… Not unless you count all the tavern songs I picked up traveling with Jeralt.”

“Tavern songs?”

“Yeah, you know, like drinking songs.” Felix just stared at her. “You...have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

“People sing in taverns?”

“Sometimes. Oh yeah, I guess you’ve probably never been to one. The nobility rarely frequents them.”

“What are they like? The songs, that is.”

“Well, they tend to be simple songs to sing in a group, often about…” She thought for a moment, and then started laughing.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just… They’re not the kind of songs you’d sing in a monastery, to put it politely. The lyrics are often about the act of drinking itself, but there’s lots of other songs about courting women, politics in the area, adventure stories and murder mysteries… There’s a lot.”

“I’d like to hear one. If you don’t mind, that is.”

“You would? Really?” She sounded more incredulous than excited. “I guess I could try. Um… let me think…” She cleared her throat and took a few deep breaths before singing an upbeat, simple tune:

_Oh goddess, why should man be in vain_

_Since bounteous heaven has made him great_

_Why look with insolent disdain_

_On those undecked with wealth or state?_

_Can splendid robes or beds of down_

_Or costly gems that deck the fair_

_Can all the glories of a crown_

_Give health or ease the brow of care?*_

“That was one of the less, um, bawdy ones I could think of," she said. "So… yes. That’s a tavern song.”

Felix was mesmerized, so much so that he wondered if someone really had cast a spell on him. It was just some silly song, but to hear her voice singing it...

“Uh, Felix? Hello?”

“What? Oh.” He blinked a few times. “I… I liked it. It’s got a nice tune and a good message.”

“Really? That’s good.” She laughed. “There’s a lot of songs in the ‘complaining about nobles’ genre, so I tried to pick one of the less scandalous ones.”

“Ha!” Felix scoffed. “I care nothing for the nobility. Those sorts of rich people who fuss over such nonsense as fancy clothes and tableware are no friends of mine. Sing all the scandalous songs you wish, Professor. I will gladly listen to them all.”

“I’ll have to share some more with you sometime, then.”

“I would like that.”

A moment of silence. Felix hated the idea of filling the silence with useless banter, but also hated the way things felt awkward without it. What had he even come up here for, again? He was so taken in by her voice he’d completely forgotten whatever excuse he’d had.

“Oh!” Byleth clapped her hands together. “That’s right, I wanted to ask if you wanted to go hunting this week. We can always use the extra meat. Nothing fancy like boar, probably just birds, but if you’re interested…”

“Sure, I’ll join you.”

“Great! I’m thinking some time in the next few days, depending on what the weather does. I’ll let you know. But it’s getting late; I probably ought to try and get some sleep for the night for now.”

“Right.” They walked together back downstairs and headed for the dormitories. Felix then remembered why he’d left in the first place and his excuse for talking to Byleth. Hoping to delay her a bit longer, he spoke before they reached her room. “Professor. Dimitri doesn’t sleep in his dorm room.

“He doesn’t?”

“No, not that I’m aware of. My room is next to his, and I’ve never seen him enter or exit it since I’ve been back here.”

Byleth sighed and put a hand on her head. “I can’t say I’m surprised, I guess, but depending on where he is, that could be dangerous. It can still get quite cold at night this time of year… Where on earth could he be sleeping? Do you have any ideas?”

“I’m afraid not. He never did things like this back when I knew him.”

“I see. Well, thanks for letting me know. If you happen to come across him, try to get him to go sleep in a real bed, at least, but if that doesn’t work… I guess just try to throw a blanket over him.”

“Will do.”

“Thanks. Goodnight, Felix.” She hugged him again, although this time it was a quick, casual hug. Nevertheless, it felt sincere, and Felix tried to reciprocate, though he wasn’t sure he did a very good job.

Back up in his dorm room (Sylvain had thankfully quieted down), he remembered the half finished chapter in the book he’d left off. He continued reading until he got too tired to continue and went to bed. As he drifted to sleep, he replayed Byleth’s songs in his head as best he could remember. Then a line from the book drifted into his mind:

_You are the first woman I have ever felt this way about, Ninian._

•••••••

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This is adapted from a real 17th century English tavern song


	3. That's what I'm made of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix attends the first book club meeting and gets surprisingly invested, Sylvain reveals how he really feels about Byleth, Felix and friends go on a hunting trip, and Byleth opens up about her concerns for the army's future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason this was much more difficult to write than the first two chapters, and I'm just going to go ahead and blame it on the world going to shit in the intervening time. Somehow transferring this to AO3 from Google docs seems to kill all my formatting, so apologies if the paragraph spacing gets a little janky. I try to fix it, but it doesn't always seem to stick.
> 
> I picked FE7 as the book everyone's reading just because it was my first FE game, but searching for content about it made me remember just how weird the story was at some points. It doesn't really make a lot of sense, but I love it anyway for introducing me to the series.

Lone Moon (March), 1186

Ashe cleared his throat nervously. “Um, hello everyone, welcome to the first meeting of the…” He glanced over at Ingrid. “Did we come up with a name for this club?”

Ingrid shrugged her shoulders. “The Garreg Mach Book Club?”

“The Garreg Mach Book Club!” Ashe finished.

Felix already felt awkward and out of place. Besides him, Ashe, and Ingrid, Petra and Ignatz also sat at two tables they’d pushed together in the library. Everyone else looked excited. Ingrid’s copy of the book was full of notes sticking out of the pages, and Petra came with a whole page full of questions and talking points she’d written down. Felix had barely managed to finish reading the first two chapters before club. He hadn’t even thought to take notes. Was he supposed to take notes? Wasn’t the idea of this club to be relaxing or fun instead of tedious busywork?

“So, um,” Ingrid started, “I thought we could start by going around the table and giving our initial thoughts on the beginning of the book. Things like the setting, the characters, things you liked or disliked, and so forth. Why don’t you start, Ignatz?”

“M-me? Oh, um, okay. Let’s see...” Ignatz flipped open his copy of the book and scanned over the pages. “I, um, I like Lyn as the protagonist so far. She’s been through so much hardship but keeps pushing forward. It makes me want to root for her, you know?”

“I know exactly what you mean!” Ingrid clutched her book to her chest with sparkles in her eyes. “She’s my favorite character in the book!”

“I related to her much as well!” Petra added. “She is a foreigner in a new land. I did not expect to see such in Fódlan books.”

“What else, let me think…” Ignatz continued. “Really, I’ve liked all of the characters so far. Serra the cleric kind of reminds me of Hilda, or maybe if Hilda had a little sister, that’s what she’d be like.”   
  
“The knight Sain is reminding me of Sylvain,” said Petra, “though his manner of speaking is very different.

Ashe laughed. “Maybe that would make Felix the stern knight Kent who has to put up with Sain’s antics.” The rest of the table laughed.

Felix grinned slightly. “Please, it’s Ingrid who’s always cleaning up that man’s messes, not me.”

“So, what did you think of it so far, Felix?” Ingrid asked him.

“Oh. Well…” Everyone at the table stared at him expectantly. He debated how honest he wanted to be with them. He was trying to be more considerate of others’ feelings these days. But if he lied, Ingrid would see right through it… “I suppose I’m still confused where the story is going. I thought this man on the front cover was the protagonist, but he’s barely shown up yet, and we keep following this Lyn character.”

“Ah, that. She’s the protagonist for the first few chapters, but then it switches over to Eliwood, yes,” Ingrid explained.

“That’s odd. Why not just start the book with Eliwood, then?”

“Hmm.” Ashe thought for a moment. “Since Lyn is a foreigner to the land the story takes place in, maybe she was a good character to start off with to introduce the world and setting through. After all, it’s awkward when stories try to explain things that the main character should already know.”

“True, but then why switch over to another person? Why not just keep her the protagonist the whole time?”

“You make a fair point,” said Ingrid, “but then how would we get to the interesting stuff that happens with Eliwood?”

Felix shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not a writer.”

“Right. Well…” Silence followed while Ingrid thought. “What did everyone think of the part where--”

“Hey, sorry I’m late!” Sylvain entered the library. “I got chatting with a lovely new recruit and lost track of time, you know how it--” He stopped when he noticed Felix at the table. “Felix? What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing here?” Felix echoed back. “I was invited to the meeting, so I came.”

Sylvain put his hands up. “Whoa, no need to get defensive. I was just surprised, that’s all. Anyway, don’t mind me, continue on.” He pulled up a chair and wedged himself in at the corner of the table between Felix and Petra.

  
“So, um, we were talking about how we felt about the characters we’ve been introduced to in the book so far,” Ingrid said.

“I think they’re all pretty fun so far,” said Sylvain. “Lyn is obviously great, but Florina the pegasus knight is adorable. Serra’s banter is also fun to read. And who could forget Ninian the dancer? Her illustration on the cover is gorgeous! It’s too bad she has an injury in these first few chapters--I wanted to read about her dancing!”

Felix crossed his arms. “You just listed all of the female characters in the book so far. Do you even remember any of the other characters?”   
  


“Of course I do! There’s, uh… Oh! There’s Matthew the thief! He’s cool, right? And then there’s that goofy knight Sain. Heh, poor guy has no game. I could teach him a thing or two about how to talk to girls. He kind of reminds me of Lorenz, actually.”

Everyone’s eyes widened as they either stared in disbelief or tried not to laugh.

“What? He does!”

“Oh!” Petra put a finger up as she thought of something. “I learned a Fódlan phrase for this! Is this ‘a pan calling a teapot black’?”

Sylvain looked confused. “A what now?”

“Hm, my apologies, perhaps that is wrong phrase…”

“Come to think of it, Lorenz never returned to the academy, did he?” Ashe clearly wanted to change the subject. “I wonder where he is these days…”

“Oh, that.” Ignatz sighed. “Well, his family’s territory is right on the border of the Empire and the Alliance. The Gloucesters have always had good relations with the Empire, so when war broke out, they immediately took the Empire’s side. We probably won’t be seeing him anytime soon, unless it’s on a battlefield…”

Ashe clearly regretted changing to this subject even more than he regretted the last subject.

“Well, one thing will be for certain if we do ever see him again,” said Sylvain in a serious tone. Everyone turned to look at him. “We’ll finally know if he ever changed his stupid hair or not.”

Felix sighed into his palms while the rest of the table either laughed or groaned. “Can we get back to the book, please?”

  
“Yes, of course Felix,” Ingrid said. “I...forget what I was going to say earlier. What about you, Petra? You took a lot of notes, it looks like. Anything you’d like to bring up?”

“Oh! Yes.” Petra scanned through her notes. “There is a word I am not familiar with. Lyn is looking for her grandfather, who is a… what is this?” Petra showed Ingrid a word in her notes.

“Ah, that’s ‘Marquess.’”

“Mark-wess?”

“Yeah. It’s an old noble title. I don’t think people in Fódlan use it much anymore. You may have heard the term ‘Margrave’ before. They mean about the same thing. It usually refers to a noble who owns land at the border of a country.”

“I see.” Petra scribbled something down. “We have no such equal terms in Brigid…”

“I guess that makes sense,” Ashe said. “Brigid is an archipelago, right? They probably wouldn’t need such a specific word on an island.”

“Speaking of that marquess,” Felix started, “his younger brother is trying to kill him and Lyn so he can claim the title for himself, correct?”

“That’s correct…” Ingrid already seemed on guard in her tone.

“So then why did he find the world’s worst assassins to hire to get the job done? They show up right in front of Lyn and tell her they’re here to kill her. That’s not how assassins are supposed to work.”

“Well it wouldn’t be much of a story if Lyn was killed in the first few chapters by skilled assassins, now would it?”

“No, but this could have been an opportunity to showcase Lyn’s prowess in battle over her enemy’s. Instead, the enemy made itself obvious and she still ended up being saved by that horse archer who rides in out of nowhere.”

Ingrid looked like she wanted to argue, but stopped herself. “Hmm, okay, I suppose you do have a point there…”

“And what was going on with the brigands sent to hunt Lyn setting fire to Marquess Araphen’s castle before her team was even inside it?” Felix continued. “If they had wanted to kill Lyn and her comrades, wouldn’t it have made more sense to set fire to the castle after Lyn was inside?”

“See, that depends on what the enemy was trying to accomplish by setting the fire,” Sylvain offered. “Maybe they weren’t trying to directly kill anyone with the fire, but rather cause mass discord and panic.”

“Over what, some fire? Maybe the civilians, sure, but a well-trained militia would know how to deal with that.”

“You say that, but I think even the most well-trained soldier would panic if suddenly there was fire everywhere. Not to mention how obscuring the smoke would get. The goal may have been to make them lose each other in the smoke, then pick them off one by one.”

“Regardless, the plan didn’t work. Lyn’s army wasn’t even that close to the fire when it started. The purpose of the fire was unclear.” There was an awkward silence as everyone waited to see if Felix was done talking or not before they started. He tried to read the room. Was he being too harsh? Maybe he should tone it down a bit. “Er, not to say it was all bad or anything. I just didn’t care for that part.”

Ignatz thought for a moment. “Come to think of it, there was a part that confused me as well. Lyn’s grandfather is being poisoned by his brother so he can inherit his title, right? This has been going on for a month or two, yet the marquess isn’t dead. How is that possible? And wouldn’t it be better for his plan to have killed him outright rather than wait a few months for him to die?”

“I think Lord Lundgren--er, that is the Marquess’ brother, wanted the death to look like natural causes.” Ashe answered. “That’s why he uses a slow acting poison rather than something instant or violent. If he wants to inherit the title, he can’t be suspected of a crime.”

“Yeah, stuff like that isn’t entirely unheard of in high society,” Sylvain added.

“If that’s the case, then his plan is even worse,” said Felix. “All of the townspeople of the region dislike Lundgren and think he’s up to something. Even if his plan did succeed and he became the new marquess, it sounds like the townspeople would just revolt anyway.”

Ashe shrugged. “Yeah, his plan isn’t the best. But he’s just the first villain they have to face in the story, so I don’t think he’s supposed to be too cunning.”

Sylvain paged through his copy of the book with a puzzled look on his face. “Hey, wait a minute. Did I read part of this book before? Yeah, I didn’t remember this beginning part as much, but this later part looks familiar. Is this the one where the hero fucks the dragon girl?”

No matter how long he had known him, Felix had never grown used to how quickly Sylvain could go from saying something intelligent and well-informed to something so crass and stupid.

Both Ashe and Ingrid turned red for different reasons. Ashe glanced around the library as if he was afraid some monk was going to get them in trouble. “Sylvain! You can’t just--! Spoilers!”

“T-there’s no scene like that in the book!” Ingrid argued. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“I mean it’s not explicit but it was heavily implied!” Sylvain argued back.

Ignatz and Petra stared at each other, unsure of what to say. Ingrid and Ashe started in at the same time.

“Just because they both--”

“We never even get--”

“Stop.” Felix put his hand up. “Which is it? Because if I have been somehow tricked into reading some-- some kind of  _ depraved dragon book _ , I’ll--”

“N-no! It’s not like that!” Ashe held up his hands in front of him. “There’s romance in it, a love story! B-but nothing like that happens in the book! How could it? This book is freely available in the library; Seteth would never allow such a-- a lewd book in!”

“Yeah!” Ingrid directed her glare at Sylvain. “Honestly Sylvain, I wouldn’t be surprised if you mixed up your own fantasies with what was actually written in the text! You’re lucky you weren’t sitting next to me, or I would have smacked you with my book.”

Felix took the invitation to bonk Sylvain on the head with his book.

“Ow!” Sylvain laughed. “Okay, okay, I probably deserved that.” 

*****

It was getting late, so Sylvain and Felix headed back to the dorms together.

“I gotta say Felix, I’m glad you came to the book club, even if it was unexpected.”

“Hmph. It was more interesting than I anticipated.”

“Now that I know you’re also in the club, wanna get together tomorrow and read the next few chapters?”

“I can’t. I already have plans for tomorrow.”

“What, more training? C’mon, you can--”

“No, it’s not just training.”

“What other plans would you have? What, are you going on a date or something?”

Felix nearly tripped down the stairs he had just stepped on. “Wh-what?! No! What could possibly make you think--”

Sylvain clutched his side as he laughed. “Oh Felix, never change. There, that’s for hitting me with that book. Now we’re even.”

“Ugh.” Felix straightened himself back up and headed downstairs. “If you must know, I was asked to go hunting. We need more meat.”

“Ah, okay. Maybe another time, then.”

They walked in silence for a little while until they were near the greenhouse when Felix stopped. “Say, Sylvain, there’s something I’ve been wondering…”

“Hm? What is it?”

“Five-- no, I guess it’s six years ago now, when we got our new professor at the Officers Academy, you wouldn’t shut up about her. You practically asked her to marry you her first day on the job. It was embarrassing, to say the least. But then, some time into the school year, you just...stopped. I didn’t say anything, because at the time, frankly, I was relieved. But now I wonder… What happened?”

“Oh, that. I didn’t break her heart, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s just…” Sylvain sighed and went to sit down on a nearby bench. “One day, she found me in town after I had just broken up with a girl. So, you know, I wasn’t in a great mood to begin with. Well, she was giving me a hard time about it -- not the first time she’d done that, honestly -- and I got kind of defensive. I told her it didn’t really matter, because those girls were just after me for my Crest anyway. Well, one thing led to another, and we got talking about how different our experiences growing up with Crests were. She told me that before she came to Garreg Mach, she had no idea she even had a Crest. If her father knew, he never told her. It was simply never a factor in her upbringing. I was so envious of that...that I told her I kind of hated her for it.” 

“You...told our professor you hated her?”

“Yeah. And I… might have said some other stuff that scared her a bit. I tried to play it off as a joke, but things were kind of awkward after that.”

“Do you still hate her?”

Sylvain leaned back on the bench and looked up at the night sky. “I don’t know. Maybe ‘hate’ is too strong of a word these days. She was a good teacher then, and she’s a good commander now, there’s no denying that. Still… I don’t know if I could ever truly be friends with her.”

“Ah. Well. Hm.” Felix felt his heart sink. He wasn’t really sure what he expected out of the conversation, but this wasn’t it. He had been afraid that Sylvain would tease him endlessly if he thought he was interested in a girl. But this… This felt much worse.

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason. It was just something I was thinking about earlier today. Goodnight, Sylvain.”

*****

Felix had been hunting wild game from the time he was seven years old. Such was the norm for the nobility, especially in Faerghus. His family was wealthy enough that they never had to rely on hunting for sustenance (though the meat was a nice benefit), but rather for sport. Hunting was seen as important in developing crucial battlefield skills such as moving in formations, safe weapon handling, working and communicating in a team, and, of course, courage and the ability to go in for the kill. All noble children of Faerghus were taught these things, regardless of gender.

Felix had many fond and a few not-so-fond memories of hunting with his friends and family. His first kill on his first hunting trip with his family was a wild hare. He cried all the way back home over it, something which Glenn loved to remind him about for years afterwards. He swore to never let his older brother see him cry after that. Not that he was always successful in that promise to himself, but he certainly tried.

  
Felix shook his head. He didn’t want to think about that right now. It was still fairly early in the morning and he had met up with Byleth to go hunting for pheasants in the fields at the base of the mountain, only to find that she had also invited Petra and Ashe to go hunting with them as well, something that he was both disappointed and relieved by. They rode on horseback down the mountain pass with an energetic Aegir hound in tow. Felix was silent for most of the trip and let Petra and Ashe do the talking. Ashe in particular had lots of commentary to offer on the area, pointing out the names of many plants and identifying bird songs as they passed by, while Petra offered tales of hunts she had been on in Brigid and how the wildlife differed there.

Once they arrived at the fields, they used the hunting dog they brought along to locate the vicinity of the birds, then formed a horizontal line and moved through the brush so that they would never cross one another’s path and inadvertently shoot at a comrade. Eventually they would find a bird to scare into taking flight out of the brush and all take aim at it. With four people shooting at one bird, the hope was that at least one of them would hit it. Even then, the birds did not simply topple out of the air -- pheasants are big, hardy birds that could continue to fly for many meters, even fully impaled all the way through by an arrow. The hunting dog they brought along was more than happy to go fetch the errant birds, and would typically finish them off by wringing their necks, though sometimes the morbid task of breaking the bird’s neck would fall to whoever the dog delivered it to.

“Good dog.” Felix patted the hound gently on the head when it dropped off a bird to him.

“No no no!” Ashe protested. “You have to praise him more than that, Felix, or he won’t think he did a good enough job!”

Felix looked at Ashe, then back to the dog, which was panting and wagging its tail. “It looks happy enough to me…”

“You’ve gotta praise him like this!” Ashe knelt down and called the dog over and began showering it with cuddles and petting. “Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good doggie? It’s you! You’re the best puppy! Yes you are!” The dog reciprocated by showering Ashe with licks and even more powerful tail wags.

“Right… Maybe you should be in charge of praising the dog, then,” Felix said. Byleth and Petra looked at each other and giggled.

The rest of the hunt proceeded as expected, though Felix couldn’t help but notice that the mood of the group was off. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, but there was a feeling of falseness around it. Like everyone was putting on masks and faking that they were happy, but that it was a lie that everyone desperately wanted to believe.   
  
There was one notable incident, however. Ashe had had the idea to mark each of their arrows with paint so that they could keep a tally of who shot the most birds. There was a point when two birds got flushed out at once, and everyone but Petra missed them. But Petra managed to shoot them both down with a single arrow. They could all hardly believe their eyes, but there was no mistaking it. Petra was momentarily stunned.

“I… I did it… I did it! I finally did it!”

“Finally?” Ashe asked. “Have you been trying to kill two birds with a single arrow for a while?”

“Yes. I have been training for many years. In Brigid, there is a saying. ‘To shoot two birds with one arrow’ means to attempt an impossible task. But I wanted to believe it was possible. I am wanting to prove that things once thought impossible can become possible. And now I have.” A shadow passed over her face and her smile faded.

“Is something wrong?” Byleth asked.

“Ah? No, I am fine. I had… a memory. I told Edelgard once about the Brigid saying. She told me that she must one day attempt to do the impossible as well--that shooting two birds with one arrow was the least of the impossible tasks she would do. I didn’t think it much at the time. But all those years ago…” Petra gripped her bow harder. “Was she already planning this war? Was she already determined to turn her back on us?”

No one seemed to know what to say. The mood had shifted in such a short time.

“She caught all of us by surprise. Myself included,” Byleth said after a moment. “I suspect...she had been planning this long before she even came to Garreg Mach.” She sighed and then lifted her head up with a smile. “But come now, friends, let’s not dwell on such thoughts now. Our trip has been a great success, and I’m sure everyone will be happy to eat well in the coming days.” Felix couldn’t help but notice just how tired her eyes were behind her smile.

At the end of the hunt in the late afternoon, they all got together to tally their scores. Felix had been so preoccupied trying to make sure that he got more kills than Byleth that he completely overlooked Ashe and Petra, who both outscored him. Petra had the most kills followed by Ashe, then Felix, and then Byleth. Ashe looked surprised, but after seeing Felix’s dour face, didn’t say anything one way or another. For her part, Byleth didn’t seem at all perturbed by her loss.

“Wow! I didn’t stand a chance!” she laughed. “All of you have grown in skill so much over the last five years. I’m so proud of you!”

“You really think so?” Ashe blushed. “I do admit I surprised myself actually.”

“Yes! We should be doing this again soon!”

Petra and Ashe were eating this up. Felix didn’t feel like he deserved the praise but still liked to hear her say it.

It was getting to be evening by the time they got back to the monastery, and the four of them spent the rest of their time helping prepare the meat back in the dining hall, a messy but necessary task. Felix didn’t speak much besides to offer affirmative noises that he was still listening or if asked a question directly, but he preferred it that way. Ashe and Petra talked about the book club at one point, and Byleth lamented that she would have loved to join if she weren’t so busy. She’d had a difficult time securing even this day to go hunting, it seemed. Felix felt irritated at the army for keeping her so busy, as she was bound to start losing her strength that way. Any more sparring victories against her would be meaningless in that case.   
  


A few pheasants were given to the cooks on duty and served for dinner that night, and it did seem to lift the spirits of all who partook of it. It was certainly the nicest quality meat Felix had had in a few weeks. Petra asked for some meat to keep for herself to smoke and preserve for later while the rest was put on ice in cold storage to eat over the next few days. At one point Byleth got up and left with an extra serving only to return several minutes later empty handed, suggesting that she must have managed to locate Dimitri and have him accept food, which was pretty good by the boar’s current standard. Sylvain eventually joined them in the dining hall and asked Felix how the hunting trip went, to which he mostly replied in short to-the-point statements, after which Ashe would explain the same event in more detail. This didn’t bother Felix; he was actually amused that they were developing some sort of dynamic. Byleth looked to be in much better spirits eating and listening to them, at least.

*****

Felix didn’t see much of Byleth the next day. Since she’d taken the previous day off for the hunt, it seemed like she was playing catch-up today. He felt drawn to be around her, to talk with her, and he wasn’t really sure why. He couldn’t even think of what he’d want to discuss with her even if she did get a chance to stick around. There wasn’t anything new or interesting that had happened in the intervening time since they’d last spoken to talk about. But every time he caught a glimpse of her running to and fro, he wanted her to stay. Frankly, it was getting quite irritating. He was busy enough with training and weapons maintenance himself--he didn’t like being distracted from that, even if it was his own mind distracting him.

He didn’t have to make up his mind one way or another though, because that evening she came to him at the training grounds.

“Hello, Felix. I thought I’d find you here.”

“Oh, good evening, Professor.”

“I had hoped to come by earlier today and join you, but it’s been a crazy day. So many people trying to communicate in so many different directions, and it feels impossible to keep everyone up to date and on the same page…” She let out a heavy sigh. “I know this might sound sudden, but… Felix, may I confess something to you?”

“Huh? Confess?” He wasn’t sure what that phrasing was supposed to mean.

“Yes. I think, well, that you might be the best person to talk to about this.”   
  


“Okay. What is it?”

Byleth glanced around. “Not here. Let’s speak somewhere more private. Somewhere more difficult for anyone to eavesdrop in on. Not that I suspect anyone of doing that, but… It’s a sensitive topic, I guess.”

“Right.” Felix quickly gathered his things. It was a cool evening, but he felt strangely warm. “Anywhere you have in mind?”

She thought for a moment. “Let’s go to the Goddess Tower. It’s pretty far out of the way from anything else. I don’t ever see anyone go over there much these days.”

The Goddess Tower. Felix had only been there once before, also with Byleth. He didn’t care to think about that memory at the moment -- it wasn’t one of his finer moments.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

The two of them walked in silence across the monastery grounds toward the cathedral in the shadows of the setting sun. The Goddess tower was a lone structure off the northwest side of the cathedral that required crossing another bridge to access. By the look of the stone tower, it was significantly older than the cathedral itself, which made it that much more mysterious considering how old Garreg Mach already was. The doors to the tower were locked, but Byleth simply pulled out a ring of keys and opened it. There was a bit of an awkward moment where they both tried to let the other in through the door first before Felix relented and went inside. The air was cool and damp--a bit musty even. After many centuries of natural decay, rainwater consistently found its way inside.

“Let’s go upstairs.” Byleth led the way as they ascended the stone steps to the upper floors. The top floor had an open balcony that faced east and a cracked mosaic of the Crest of Seiros on the floor. Dormant vines that were just beginning to bud lined the walls and ceiling and trailed out a hole in the roof. Outside the clouds were starting to be tinged with pink and orange.

“So...what is it you wanted to talk about?” Felix asked.

Byleth looked toward the balcony, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “The truth is, I don’t want us to capture the Great Bridge of Myrddin. The Alliance is trying to put forward a neutral front, but by the intel I’ve received, it is on the brink of a civil war. By asking Claude to use House Riegan’s soldiers to distract House Gloucester so we can cross the bridge, we risk an entire nation plunging into chaos. And for what? To cross into the Empire? When half of Faerghus is already taken, and the rest is being slowly starved out?”

Felix wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen her be so raw and honest before. “I agree. Trying to take on the entire Adrestian Empire when we’ve barely a country left to call our own is madness, pure and simple.”

“There is a final war council meeting tomorrow before we depart for Alliance territory. I will try one final time to plead my case. But I do not have high hopes.”

“And assuming your pleas fall on deaf ears, what will you do then?”

“I’ll follow the orders given to me. I will make a strategy to take the bridge, and I will fight. Quite frankly, I don’t think it will be that difficult. It’s not the bridge that concerns me -- it’s the battles that will come after.”

Felix furrowed his brow. “Gronder Field.”

“Exactly.” She sighed and shook her head. “I know it’s useless to try and think too far ahead into the future. But try as I might, I can’t shake the feeling that nothing good lies in store for us there.” Byleth leaned against a clear spot on the wall and sank down into a sitting position. “For what it’s worth, your father seems to agree with me. But if even the words of a man Dimitri once admitted to me he thought of as a second father aren’t enough to dissuade him from his path, then mine certainly won’t be.”

“But we can’t just stay silent against his mad ravings!”

“I know. Trust me, I wish I could knock some sense into him more than anyone. But this is also a very dangerous time to sow dissent amongst our people. Morale is already suffering, I’m sure you’ve noticed. If people start to lose hope in the cause, then we’re as good as conquered.”

Felix sighed and sat down across from her on the floor by the balcony. “A rock and a hard place, hm?”

“Pretty much.” Byleth thought for a moment. “Lord Rodrigue came and spoke at length with me the other night.”

Felix shifted. “Oh?”

“Yeah. He talked about your brother, Glenn.”

“Tch. Of course he did.”

“For what it’s worth, I think he regrets what he told you after Glenn died. He doesn’t blame you for resenting him.”

“Hmph.”

“But what surprised me most was when he said...how grateful he is that I chose to lead the Blue Lions house. And that he entrusts Dimitri and the future of Faerghus to me.”

“He said WHAT?!” Felix jumped back up. “That--that stupid old fool! What a burden to place on someone!”

“I admit, I was surprised myself. All I could say was how unexpected such words were. They are both words of high praise, coming from your father to one of my standing, but also, yes, a burden.”

Felix growled under his breath as he sat back down. As much as he had been trying to avoid his father whenever possible, he was going to have to have words with him about this.   
  


Byleth leaned her head back against the wall and gazed out at the balcony. “It’s all so confusing anymore. When I was just a teacher at the Officers Academy, I knew my duties and my role. But what am I now? Lady Rhea entrusted me with her duties before she disappeared, yes, but that hardly makes me the Archbishop. Why she would entrust such a thing to me and not Seteth is a mystery of its own, but Seteth seems to respect her choice and defer to me now, which is strange to say the least. I am valued in the war council for my advice on strategy and tactics, which I guess is why I was hired as a professor to begin with, but technically the only troops I can directly issue orders to are the Knights of Seiros. When it comes to the Kingdom army, both Lord Rodrigue and Prince Dimitri outrank me. Really, the fact that a commoner like me is even in this position at all is unheard of. And it all traces back to me bearing the long lost Crest of Flames and my ability to wield the Sword of the Creator.” A dark smile crossed her face. “Ha. I’m sure Sylvain would have some choice words about that, and he wouldn’t be wrong.”

Felix thought back to his conversation with Sylvain a couple of days ago. He wondered what sort of impression Sylvain had left on her to leave a mark like that. His constant happy-go-lucky facade made Sylvain that much scarier when he let his raw anger show through.

“Be that as it may, you are still plenty skilled on your own. Crests and Relics are powerful, yes, but they are worthless in the hands of the unskilled.”

She turned her gaze toward him for a moment, a bit surprised. “Thank you. That means a great deal to me, coming from you.”

Felix quirked an eyebrow. “Coming from me?”

“I mean only that you are not one to throw praise around to curry favor with people. You may not do it often, but when you compliment someone, it’s genuine.”

“Ah, I see.” He put his hand in front of his mouth like he was thinking, but really it was to hide his smile. Women could get away with smiling often. But men were supposed to be stoic. He had become so accustomed to this that to truly smile felt strange and awkward, and so he unconsciously tried to hide it.

The eastern sky was starting to grow darker as the clouds transitioned from orange to pink to purple. Felix’s smile faded from behind his hand as he thought about the coming war council meeting. “Professor, I want you to know that I’m behind you all the way. The Boar certainly won’t want to hear a damn thing I have to say to him, but I won’t let your voice be the only dissenting one.”

“Thank you, Felix. I couldn’t ask for more.” She smiled. “You know, you really have grown and changed a lot since the Academy.”

He could feel himself starting to blush. “What? No I haven’t… I mean, I’m a better soldier now, I suppose, but that’s about it.”

“You don’t think so? I feel like I would be having a very different conversation with the Felix I knew from back then.”

“Hm.” When she put it that way, he couldn’t deny it. But he really didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t like thinking of just how rude he could be as a teenager--it embarrassed him. And he was especially rude to her on the night of the ball five years ago. But there was something that he never got an answer to back then. He thought for a moment.

“Professor, on the night of the festival five years ago… Why did you come to the Goddess Tower?”

“Hm? I thought I told you back then. Everyone wanted to dance with me and I was getting tired being around so many people. I just wanted to get some space.”

“But why there? If you’d just needed space, there are plenty of places around Garreg Mach to get it. Why go so far out of the way?”

“Well, if you must know… I expected to find Sylvain here.”

“You...huh?” Felix wasn’t quite sure what answer he was expecting, but that certainly wasn’t it.

“Yeah. Seteth had been very insistent that the Goddess Tower was off limits for students and that all faculty were expected to keep an eye on their students to keep them out or face reprimands. Seteth had been...vocal, to say the least, about my position as a teacher with my background, so I wanted to stay in his good graces. With all the talk of it being a romantic date spot, I thought if I was going to find anyone in there, surely it would be Sylvain, likely with some girl he’d just met making out half undressed. ...Wouldn’t have been the first time I found him doing something like that, anyway. So since I needed to get some air, I headed that direction to check in on the place. I assumed I’d have to chase him out with a broom. Imagine my surprise when I found you of all people in there instead. If anything, I should be the one asking you. Why did you come to the Goddess Tower that night, Felix?”

*****

_ Five years ago -- 25th of the Ethereal Moon (December), 1180 -- The Goddess Tower _

It was a chilly night, but there was no snow on the ground, not this year. The skies were crystal clear as the moon and stars lit the monastery grounds. Byleth had left the festivities and spent some time talking with Dimitri about his childhood, but once he left, she felt the need to move further away from the ball before someone found her and dragged her back in. The thought of the Goddess Tower crossed her mind. Seteth was sure to be doing the rounds at some point, and she definitely didn’t want to get a lecture from him about keeping a closer eye on her students. Sothis, on the other hand, seemed insistent that someone would be waiting there for Byleth herself, and teased her most of the way there. She felt like at that point she was going more to sate Sothis’ curiosity than her own.

Her eyes widened as she ascended the stairs and saw Felix standing alone in the middle of the room, illuminated in a moonbeam. She was shocked, but also strangely relieved.

He turned and looked at her. “Oh, look who it is.” He didn’t sound terribly surprised.

“Felix? What are you doing here?” she asked. Of all the people to be waiting at the Goddess Tower to confess their feelings to someone and make a pledge to the goddess, he was the last person she expected.

“I just wanted some quiet. It’s so loud, I needed a little respite. Besides, what are you doing here?”

“The same reason. I’ve never danced so much in my life… But I’m not really one for such fancy events.”

“Ah. Well, I guess it figures. You spent most of your life as a mercenary, after all. Hm.” He seemed lost in thought.

“What is it?”

“Have you heard the legend of the Goddess Tower? That if you make a pledge, it will be fulfilled?”

“I’ve heard the students speak of it, yes.”

“Childish, I know. But if it were true… Let’s make a pledge to the goddess.”

“You...want to make a pledge...with me?”

“I don’t see anyone else around, do you?” He held out his hand.

Byleth hesitated. Something about this didn’t feel right. Felix was never one to be so forward with his feelings. And it felt inappropriate. He was only 17. But in the end, she decided to humor him and took his hand. He was, admittedly, one of her favorite students, despite how prickly he could be. “Very well.”

He took a deep breath, then looked her square in the eyes. “I pledge that someday, I will surpass you.” His grip on her hand began to tighten as his eyes burned more intensely. “I’ll surpass your technique, your skill with the sword, and your cunning as a warrior. Then I will make you taste defeat!”

Ah, there it was. How naive of her to think he’d want anything else. She almost wanted to laugh. She pulled her hand away. “Really?  _ That’s _ your pledge to the goddess? A bit extreme, don’t you think?”

Felix stepped back. “What a disappointment. If you’re looking for a passionate affair, you’ve got the wrong man. Go find someone else.” The amount of bitterness in his voice startled her. “I’ve spent my life avoiding love and romance. They’re distractions. Blades, blood, and battle. That’s what I’m made of and nothing else.” He glanced around the tower. “If someone saw us, however, this may look like an amorous meeting. You’ll have to settle for being mistaken as my lover.”

Byleth let out a cold laugh. “Mistaken as your lover? What nonsense. Just what kind of person do you take me for?”   
  


He didn’t answer. “It’s time I went back to training. I’ll always be more comfortable holding a sword than a woman’s hand.”

“Clearly.”

He turned toward the stairs, then looked back at her. “Try not to catch a cold up here. I’d hate for such a good sparring partner to be out of commission.”

“Oh please, don’t feign concern for me now. You want to surpass me? Fine. Come back and duel me at the Millenium Festival in five years when you aren’t a  _ child _ .”

Felix’s eyes widened. Got him.

“Now get out of here before Seteth catches you. Good-bye, Felix.” She stormed past him down the stairs and out the tower. “Rude little twerp,” she muttered under her breath.

*****

“Why did you come to the Goddess Tower that night, Felix?”

Why indeed. What was he thinking? Felix had never stopped to reflect on it. He didn’t want to. That night he had gone back to the training hall in a foul mood and fantasized about besting her in combat the rest of the night and making her eat her own words like she had done to him. A child? How dare she! Oh, but to see her face when that  _ mere child _ defeated her in front of all her students. The thought always brought a sly grin to his face.

But it never came to pass. Not once did he ever get in a win against her in his time at the academy. Then the war came, and just like that, she was gone.

He couldn’t look Byleth in the eyes. “I’m not sure what I was thinking that night. I suppose...I wanted to humiliate you. I was a sore loser, especially back then. I was so angry that you kept defeating me and envious of your skills. And I was tired of girls I didn’t care for asking me to the ball. It all rolled together in my mind, and…that happened.”

The first stars of the night were beginning to show through the darkening sky. Byleth stood up and began to drift around the room as she spoke. “It’s a bit funny in retrospect, isn’t it? After all, your wish did come true. Well, maybe not quite to the extent in your pledge, but you did win a match against me.”

Felix stood back up as well and leaned against the wall. “I suppose that’s true. And I took you up on your challenge and came back as an adult years later. Not that I ever really thought about it in those terms.”

“You may not think you’ve changed much, but you have. Blades, blood, and battle, that’s all you said you were made from back then.”

Felix started blushing. It sounded so stupid and edgy when she said to back to him.

“I was the same too, before I came to the officer’s academy,” she continued. “But in time I grew into so much more than just that. I can see that same growth in you, Felix.”

“I-is that so?” Felix was accustomed to getting praise for his martial prowess, but less used to praise for anything else about himself. His face grew hotter.

She moved toward him. “At this point, it doesn’t really matter much to me if I surpass someone or someone surpasses me.” She reached out and gently put her hand on his shoulder. “I think now, more than anything else, I want someone to stand by my side as my equal.”

She was doing that thing with her eyes again. Like she could see right through him. He would glance away, then look back, then glance away again. He couldn’t bear just gazing into her eyes, but neither could he stand to look away for too long before he was drawn back in. “Equals, hm? That...doesn’t sound so bad.”


End file.
